“Drunk Mans” Broccoli Casserole

Oh hey guys! This week has been crazy, huh?! (insert nervous face emoji)

I as well as many other Americans, sat wide eyed, confused, and appalled watching and waiting to see what would happen next in the series of unfortunate events which were unfolding live on Capitol Hill.

In a blink of an eye MAGA protestors turned into domestic terrorists breaking down crowd barriers, assaulting police officers and breaking into our Nations own Capitol building forcing all inside to seek refuge in secure rooms. This isn’t America to me. This was a third world country. This was barbaric and so many steps back from where we should be. All of this was done to instill fear and to silence votes of the Electoral College to keep Trump in office.

I sat there. I watched. I got frustrated. I got angry. I asked myself, where the fuck was the National Guard? I asked myself why people are this crazed over a man who has openly made fun of or spoke ill of the dead, war prisoners, the disabled, immigrants, people of color, women, literally anyone who has any other opinion other than his own. Also, why cant this man just stay off social media? I’m sure he would have been viewed differently if he owned just an ounce of responsibility for the power of his own words. Words matter bro.

I couldn’t make sense of any of it. So I decided to do what any respectable American who lost their job due the pandemic, who is now a stay at home mom and signing herself up for memberships such as First Leaf Wine Club to make it through each week… I poured myself a very large glass of wine, played LEGOS with my son and after some time, decided to pick up dog poop in the yard.

It seemed fitting at the time to clean up someone else’s shit.

The husband wasn’t home yet, and I really needed someone to talk to. At least someone who could comprehend what was going on past the mindset of a 4 year old’s innocent and very pure thought processes. So I walked my happy butt over to the neighbors house to discuss. Why? Because they’re my people. They are able to have a back and forth conversation about what’s right and what’s wrong in the world without being married to one side. Maybe its because they keep six feet distance from me. I don’t know. In other words, they are fantastic and we hit the bullseye with these neighbors.

A bottle of wine and two frozen Martini Rossi cocktails later, the hubs finally makes it over to the neighbors to join into our conversations.

By the way, if you’ve never tried Martini & Rossi Frozé and Frosecco, you’ve never lived. It was my first time, and I’m definitely putting them on my next shopping list for the next time our Nation faces a “dark day in history”. Hey, we have 13 days left with this president, so the world is practically our oyster right now. Drink cocktails and enjoy it while Democracy is still in place.

Listen, I’m not condoning alcoholism, nor am I an alcoholic. But I will say booze, food and myself go together very well. But I did not have food at this point and momma was getting hangry… and also drunk. I had to escape and I had to do it fast before I got trapped into the “one more” game.

You guys know that one. It’s when you’re about to leave and your host gives you one more drink because you’re having so much fun.

Anyway, I walked back with my son by my side, stripped us of our winter gear, washed our hands and faces, made my son a peanut butter and honey sandwich and combed the fridge to find something to cook.

I had… broccoli.

I was planning on making this vegan broccoli and chic pea dish, but lets be honest, that type of attention to detail was not there. At least not that night. I needed something comforting. Something that would make me feel safe. So I googled some casserole recipes.

Now I will preface, I have NEVER liked casserole. I think probably due to eating so much of it as a child. It was always just gooped together. But I was going for it. I found a lot of nice recipes online. Most of them had some pretty lengthy details that required much more focus than I could dedicate, so my drunk ass had to make something up. Forewarning, as I typed this out, flashes circled around my head of random ingredients that I kept adding to the dish. I might not have needed the plethora of all of these ingredients, but they all came together in a magical, “feed my soul and help me overcome this madness” kind of way.

Here is the recipe. I hope you enjoy, but also if you don’t, than I don’t care…. psych. I’d clearly want to know.

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 cups long grain rice such as Basmati
  • 3 1/2 cups water
  • 1 tablespoon DIVINA caramelized onion jam – or you can make your own.
  • 1 10.5oz. can of Cream of Chicken Soup
  • 1 teaspoon Better than Bouillon Roasted Chicken Base
  • 3 broccoli crowns cut into florets
  • 3 cloves roasted garlic
  • 1/2 cup shredded gouda cheese
  • 1 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
  • 3/4 tablespoon crushed dried rosemary
  • 1/2 cup Progresso Italian Style dried breadcrumbs
  • salt and pepper to taste

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Pour rice and water water into a large heavy-bottomed sauté pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes uncovered.
  3. While the rice and water are coming to a boil, start chopping your broccoli.
  4. Stir the following right into the pan while the rice cooks. Broccoli, caramelized onion jam, roasted garlic, Bouillon, rosemary, chicken soup, salt and pepper.
  5. Sprinkle with cheese and breadcrumbs and put that sucker in the oven with a lid. for 25 minutes.
  6. Remove lid and broil for 5 minutes or less. You’ll need to really pay attention so it doesn’t burn.
  7. Enjoy with a dollop of sour cream and hot sauce.

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